


scientific rhapsody

by operationhades



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Banner is Aziraphale, Drabbles, Gen, Science Bros, Tony Stark is Crowley, chapter one is a not!fic, sort of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-14
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-07 14:26:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3175992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/operationhades/pseuds/operationhades
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony Stark: A Weapons Manufacturer who didn't so much as become a Hero as Saunter Vaguely Into A Superhero Team.</p>
<p>Bruce Banner: The Hulk, and part-time nuclear physicist.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. index of characters who used to be other characters

**Author's Note:**

> Bunch of tiny stories (but not quite drabbles) based of [this](http://sheriffbadass.tumblr.com/post/75109386648/tony-stark-secretly-being-crowley-good-omens-who%22) (which is chapter one btw - a not!fic). Where basically Crowley forgot he was Crowley because being Tony was super fun, Aziraphale forgot he was Aziraphale and ended up becoming Bruce Banner (which was not as fun), and the two found each other again by complete accident (or was it really by accident? Was anything by accident?) and didn't really change much. (Hint: they didn't really change _at all_.)
> 
> (This is an apology sort-of-fic for the lovely people waiting for [and now, the weather](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1153022). I have absolutely no time to write everything up, uni is killing me. Hence this not!fic to say I'm sorry. Sorry! /o\\)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> not!fic expanding on the summary.

Tony Stark secretly being Crowley who ran away from Britain and went ‘across the pond’ after the whole ‘Tadfield Incident’ (as he calls it), and accidentally finding himself filthy rich, richer than even God (and he should know - he _does_ know, actually, Heaven is freakin’ broke) and living the human life of a sinner.

Except, he’s living it so well, that he… er, sort of, y’know, _forgets_. That he’s Crowley. That Crowley is him. As in Tony. Stark.

So Tony Stark secretly being Crowley but so secretly even _he_ doesn’t realise it, and instead building weapons after weapons and drinking and partying and being the charming, shark-smiled, business man that he is, and occasionally feeling deja vu when he threatens the satellite he’s building, or the Jericho missile, telling them in no uncertain terms that they should be amazing, and if they don’t garner the sort of awe-struck attention he wants from them, then, well, you’re probably wondering what happened to that _last_ satellite I built, right?

But then he meets Bruce, who he immediately hits it off with, and they’re speaking the same language and perfectly understanding each other and Tony’s (Crowley’s) just in awe at Bruce’s _breathtaking_ anger issues, and Bruce just feels so relaxed and calm around Tony.

Except, y’know, Tony’s Crowley-

and Bruce’s _Aziraphale_.

And the Hulk? Well, you’ve got to wonder where all that angelic power went off to, right?

So it’s no wonder why the Hulk really likes Tony, or why Tony wears shades all the damn time, even indoors, or why Bruce is so soft spoken and kind but smashes things to a pulp when they need it (because angels are warriors of God, not hymn-singing guardians), or why Tony wears suits like he was born in one, or why his slurring when he’s drunk sounds a lot like hissing, or the fact that he has no Bentley’s in his collection because, “I have a feeling I’ll destroy one for some reason, and that’s a _crime_ , I refuse to do that, nope.”

And they have dinners at fancy restaurants (gravitating to a single one that starts with R and ends in Z), talk about good and evil and the fifty shades of grey (of good and evil that is, not of that terrible book that’s completely human and not from either side of the spiritual war), and occasionally save the world. (Or, in Tony’s case, occasionally make unnecessary enemies that go on to try and destroy said world.)

And then- and _then_ \- and then Tony ends in Tennessee with a kid named Harley and suddenly remembers, with a start, another kid, this one named Adam, and Bruce truly begins to understand the Hulk and not hate/be afraid of his alter ego and realises, with a start, that the Hulk is not what he seems (because he’s actually angelic fucking power, and green is the colour of life okay, and angels tend to have little flowers and stuff popping up around their feet whenever they walk, it’s annoying and all Joshua’s fault, ugh.)

So they realise who they are, celebrate that they’ve found each other, get roaring drunk along the way ("The point is- the point is- _Dolphins_ ,” - “Yes! It’s been years, why haven’t we figured it out yet?” ), and go on a ride in a Bentley Tony (Crowley) buys right then and there for sentimental values, Freddy Mercury crooning out of the radio about how he doesn’t have a clue if he’s living the sweet life or a fantasy, and halfway through the Bentley explodes into fire and they go cruising through Manhattan in a burning Bentley with Bohemian Rhapsody at full volume, and the rest of the Avengers (and Fury, and Coulson, and _Pepper_ , oh god) hear about it.

And while Fury is shouting about motherfucking imbeciles riding motherfucking cars on _motherfucking fire_ , and Pepper is loudly wondering how on earth they don’t have burns from the fire, _what the hell_ , _Tony_ , Bruce (Aziraphale) spots a red, juicy looking apple sitting in one of those stupid little bowls on Fury’s desk, the ones you just look at but don’t touch, and Tony (Crowley) spots it too, grins because, look, an _apple_ , picks it up, and with Bruce (Aziraphale) rolling his eyes at him, takes a deep, crunching, bite of it.

* * *

"There was never an apple, in Adam’s opinion, that wasn’t worth the trouble you got into for eating it." - Good Omens


	2. In the beginning...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It was a nice day."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **PRE:** Tony and Bruce figuring out who they are.
> 
>  **POST:** Tony and Bruce figuring out who they are.
> 
> (Did I mention anything about a chronological order? Yes? No? Hah.)

**PRE:**

Tony Stark is not afraid of the Hulk. Bruce knows this, he knows this in the same vein that he knows his legal name is _Robert_ Banner - not something he's particularly familiar with, but a known quantity, a truth, a _fact_.

He just doesn't understand it. Tony, that is. He just doesn't understand _Tony_.

There’s something about the billionaire, Bruce tries to explain to himself, maybe it’s the charisma, the life lived in the limelight, the _charm_ , but something about the billionaire makes everything – and Bruce realizes here he means _everything_ – seem _absolutely normal_.

A huge metal ship that _flies_? Normal.

A blue cube capable of unimaginable (and terrifying) feats of _everything_? Plausible.

Norse Gods actually being aliens? Makes sense.

An alien invasion all because said Norse Gods have serious anger management issues? All Bruce can even _think_ is that he sympathizes with them, because he _totally understands_.

And it’s all because of Tony Stark. Tony Stark who pokes him with an electric prod and offers him dry blueberries in the same breath. Tony Stark who turns a razor sharp tongue on _Captain America_ instead of on the monster that is the Hulk. Tony Stark who _expected_ him to be there, in New York, when even Bruce didn’t know if he was planning on turning up or not.

Tony Stark is _weird_. Except… he’s not.

It all makes _sense_. _He_ makes sense. _Bruce_ makes sense. _They_ make sense.

And that completely illogical _fact_ – that fact that _cannot be a fact_ because it _doesn’t make sense_ – has Bruce running to the far ends of Asia, with nothing but the very basics on his person. And that same completely illogical _fact_ – that makes no logical, rational sense, but makes absolutely spot on _emotional_ sense – has him return a month later, to the middle of New York City, with the same basics on his person, but also something else.

Acceptance.

Tony Stark is not afraid of the Hulk. Tony Stark is not afraid of Bruce. Tony Stark is a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Tony Stark is a charmer with a shark smile and a snake tongue. Tony Stark pokes him with anything he can poke him with, throws an arm over his shoulder without a single care for the green beast inside, and fights alongside said green beast with a grin and complete lack of self-preservation.

Tony Stark is weird.

But so is Bruce.

Bruce who is not afraid at the speed of Tony’s thoughts, who is not afraid of the mask Tony throws on that the media both loves and hates, who is a genius, broke, not-searching, sort-of-philanthropist. Bruce who tries to stay out of conflict, keeps to himself to avoid forming attachments, who turns into a giant green rage monster that rages and rages. Bruce who – despite all this – smiles when Tony pokes him, elbows him in the side when Tony throws an arm over him, renders Tony speechless with a well-placed quip or sass, and wakes to from an impromptu hulking to Tony holding out clothes while leering at him.

They shouldn’t work.

But Bruce Banner is weird. And they do, and that’s strangely okay.


	3. wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "A demon can get into real trouble, doing the right thing." He nudged the angel. "Funny if we both got it wrong, eh? Funny if I did the good thing and you did the bad one, eh?"  
> "Not really," said Aziraphale.

**POST**

Nobody knows about Tony and Bruce. Mostly because as soon as everything clicks the two unconsciously agree with each other not to say anything. Mostly because they don't think it really matters. Not really. Not when it counts.

Sure, Tony’s actually sort-of a demon (who was also sort-of an angel, but not really), and Bruce’s a full-fledged angel, but really, what does that even mean? Tony's still a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Bruce is still a part time rage monster that has a fondness for Shooty Bird and Tin Man, but hates Godling like Tony hates holy water. They're still who they are, just… more celestial.

More knowledgable, too.

The Hulk starts changing ever so slightly – less speechless rage and more speech _ful_. He starts _speaking_ , first only small, single words, but more and more as the situation warrants it. He's also more aware of his surroundings, of his situation, seemingly knowing when Bruce is needed as opposed to him, and willingly changing back if he deems it right. Bruce starts remembering more, starts being able to call up the rage easier, starts feeling less exhausted and run down when he wakes up from a hulk out.

The team takes it in stride, though with different reactions.

Clint, not surprisingly, is firmly in the same boat as Tony, and finds it awesome. He throws more and more jokes at the Hulk, even argues with him, jumps on the beast's back to hitch a ride somewhere else with seeming lack of fear. Bruce would be terrified if he didn't understand _what_ exactly the Hulk embodied – hell, even knowing that he’s still terrified, because angelic wrath is a weapon of mass destruction and not exactly precise enough to avoid collateral damage.

Tony tells him to stop worrying so much. Tony, with his shades dropping low on his nose to show his eyes glowing yellow in the dying sun, tells him if worst comes to worst, the big guy’ll listen to him. Tony (Crowley) can handle it. Easy.

Bruce listens, agreeing only because he trusts Tony. That, and he knows Tony (Crowley) is the kind of guy to always find the strangest solution to a problem. He’d probably deal with an angry, raging Hulk by throwing confetti all over him, stunning the beast into baffled compliance.

Natasha, on the other hand, views the change as suspicious. They've gotten better, she and Bruce, learnt how to work around their past and move forward from it, but the slow yet visible change is unsettling for her, especially with the lack of explanation Bruce can give her as to why. It's not like he can say the Hulk is raw angelic grace acclimating back into Bruce’s being, thus becoming more _one_ with him as it used to be. He can't say that this means they're merging together into a pair rather than two opposing magnets tied together by a thin thread. Where Bruce gains the Hulk’s power (his grace), the Hulk gains Bruce’s sentience (his being).

Grace and Angel, becoming one again.

Steve just seems relieved whenever the Hulk actually listens to him on the field, and likes to think its Bruce and the team becoming closer. He’s not wrong, exactly, Bruce thinks to himself sometimes, but he's not right either.

Their resident Thunder God just laughs, delighted to have a flyting partner as well as one to do battle with. The Hulk is the only one that can take him on at full power, and to now be able to call for a snack break in the middle of a spar and not get pummelled by a not understanding beast is a good development in his books.

Tony doesn't change much though, besides maybe – perhaps – thinking too much into his life as a human.

“Isn't it just too coincidental that a former demon gets reborn, by all intents and purposes, as a weapons manufacturer? Isn't it strange, that a demon turns back on said manufacturing and tries to do _good_? Didn't we talk about this before, Angel? Whether a demon can do good and an angel do bad?”

With a posh, British accent, Bruce says, “Perish the thought.”

Tony grins at him, amused despite the mopey mood he’s in. “Seriously though Brucey,” he says reproachfully. Bruce just smiles at him guiltily, realising this is more a _Tony_ thing than a Crowley, that the newly gained human conscience is wrecking havoc with his old demonic sensibilities. “What the hell do I even call myself? It was hard enough when I was just a demon, all the subclauses and the fine print needed when actually dealing with management down below. But now? I’m neither angel, nor demon, and not even human. What _am_ I exactly?”

Bruce sympathises with Tony, remembering the dawn of creation when they'd stood side by side, a tiny flame flickering in the middle of a storm on a newly created Earth. When Tony had been Crawly and already asking questions about the whole apple thing.

“You're Tony Stark,” he finally replies, the answer coming easily to him like hymns of old. “And I'm Bruce Banner. That's all there is to it, really.”

Tony stares at him for a while, absorbing the words, bright eyes searching for something in Bruce's face. Bruce just waits, smiling at him, confident in his words for the first time in what could be his entire human life. He's _comfortable_ with it - with being Bruce Banner, the Hulk, and his entire, murky past. It doesn't seem as... haunting... as it had before. Just... a part of his life.

"I'm Tony Stark," Tony repeats, first hesitantly, then with more confidence. "And you're Bruce Banner... That's all there is to it."

"Besides," Bruce adds on, almost as an afterthought, smile turning mischievous. "You should be used to it already; the whole changing thing. _Crawly._ "

Tony's horrified splutters are music to his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> halp meh.

**Author's Note:**

> You have the right to remain silent and roll on over to my tumblr, [sheriffbadass](http://sheriffbadass.tumblr.com/). You have the right to send asks, and if you're too shy for it, then you shall be appointed the veil of anon to allow you to do so.


End file.
